The sofa where I slept for the night is surprisingly comfortable for being in such bad shape. It’s better than nothing. The room has no windows and it looks like it was for storage purposes once upon a time. The careless way everything is piled instead of organized tells me that this space hasn’t been used in a long while. When I opened my eyes earlier this morning I felt completely disoriented and for a few seconds I had no idea where I was. As soon as I recalled the events of the previous night a wave of distress overwhelmed me. Pull myself together. Stand back up. Keep Walking.
“When there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.”
– Your ex-lover is dead. Stars
If there is something I am good that, that’s my capability to start over. After all, I’ve been doing that my whole life. It’s not a long life but it sure is one full of… experiences. Let’s leave it at that. As someone once told me, after a hard blow it’s our job to pull ourselves together, stand up and keep walking. So no matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve tried to do that. Pull myself together. Stand up. Keep walking. Time and time again, that is exactly what I have done. So that is what I am trying to focus on right now, I am trying really hard to gather all the willpower I have left to walk out of this storm. Literally. Trust me when I say that I wish this was a metaphor of some kind, but I am literally walking under the pouring black sky that is threatening with the storm of the year.
Too bad I couldn’t think of snagging an umbrella when I stormed out of that place. I guess umbrellas didn’t take priority in my mind right when I decided to stop this nightmare I have been living for the past few weeks. Neither did packing, putting shoes or grabbing a coat. The weather matches the dramatics of my circumstances and the realization of that stops me in my tracks. Determination leaves me and the seriousness of the situation starts to settle in my head slowly.